Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Husband: "I think we should get a Zamboni." Me: "Where would we PARK it?" Husband: "On the street in front of the house."

Welcome to my world, ladies and gents.

This is how we get into the winter Olympic games in my house. We watch it around and through the Mardi Gras parades passing through our 'hood. We check out the athletes' performances, comment on all sorts of quirks shown on camera (Is it me, or do the Americans in the freestyle ski events and the snowboarding events look like they're wearing pajamas? What the hell does Johnny Weir have to do to get a medal - this without the words? Why do they have to keep showing Shaun White knocking his chin on the edge of the snowboarding halfpipe?), and then, with all the ice dancing we've been seeing for the past couple of days, it came down to the Zamboni.

NBC switched away from the resurfacing duet the Zambonis were doing on the ice to give us the medal count, and I found myself crying, "Noooooo!" to the TV. Dan came home from a band rehearsal shortly afterwards, I told him about NBC's switcheroo, and that's when Dan made the suggestion that we get a Zamboni.

We have a mutual history of going to hockey games in our youthful days and cheering the loudest for the Zamboni man (yes, it was always a man...Zamboni women, lemme know if you, too, are doing the resurfacing thing) as he trolled slowly across the ice between the periods. The operator that passed 'round the rink where I watched my college games would have such fun with it, developing a Miss America wave as he expertly twirled the steering wheel of the machine with his other hand. Dan and his pals would chide the machine at his college's hockey games when it rolled off the ice and left behind some detritus: "Ewww, Zamboni shit!" When we visited the Redwood Empire Ice Arena built by Charles & Joyce Schulz, we had to purchase a mini-Zamboni for the little guy, which he still treasures. Suffice it to say, for those of you wondering why my first question concerned where to park the thing rather than, "Are you insane???", we are a family with a liking for the creation of a man who had to get the ice of his rink smooth without it taking an hour and a half to do so.

So of course, the next question I had was: what could we do with the damn thing other than have it grace the gray brick road in front of our house? What if...

...you just park the zamboni on the street until next Mardi Gras and then clear the ladders and chairs from intersections?


If the Zamboni only goes up to 9 mph maximum, it'd also be perfect for pulling floats.

I'm seeing a new Mardi Gras parade tradition taking shape that'll help with the ladders, chairs, and indiscriminate roping-off of parade watching territory while still bringing the fun.

Any other ideas for a New Orleans Zamboni, y'all?

1 comment:

Mark Folse said...

It could be a pothole polisher, coming right behind the big pothole filler machine!

We could just disconnect whatever machinery is underneath and have it drive around in the Dome during breaks with cheerleaders on top throwing beads!

Hail the New Orleans Zamboni!