Some holiday-related thoughts emanating from my family in the past few weeks:
The little guy revealed some clues as to his sense of self and how he relates to the world last week. His teacher told me that he was in the midst of stitching up some holiday stockings, and he insisted that they be Jewish stockings, because he is Jewish. Fair enough.
"And do you know why I'm Jewish?" the kid asked his teacher.
"Well, why are you Jewish?"
"Because I'm from New York! And everybody from New York is Jewish!!!" my son said triumphantly.
Trying very hard to suppress giggles leading to outright laughter, my son's teacher said, "But I'm from New York, and I'm not Jewish!!"
That one froze his brain for a bit. It just didn't fit his paradigm.
"I'm gonna let you think about that one for a bit, son. I'll be right over there," my son's teacher said in true Montessori fashion.
Needless to say, my extended family is having a field day with that one. Then again, what did we expect? The short time we lived in Queens, our social life revolved around our local synagogue and trips into Manhattan for rehearsals with our Yiddish chorus.
Last night, though, what was supposed to be a simple fielding of a Christmas question from the little guy turned into a short lecture from Dan on what kids really think of Santa Claus these days.
"Mom, why do we hate Santa Claus?" the little guy asked me as we came out of the synagogue last night.
"Honey, we don't hate him," I tried to say as seriously as I could, but failed. "We just don't believe in him, is all."
That seemed to satisfy the little guy. The mistake I made was when we got home and I mentioned the kid's query to my husband. "Actually, Santa these days is scary to a lot of kids!" he said, half-jokingly.
"Oh, no," I said. "Don't go there. Not here, not now."
"No, really. We were talking about this at work! A big guy in a beard breaks into everybody's house and wreaks holiday havoc in the world's homes in the form of leaving presents for the kids, causing them to go absolutely berserk! Santa is a stranger! Kids aren't supposed to talk to them, remember? Santa is nothing but a benevolent bully!" Dan finishes with a grin, as my son listens in on this diatribe, eyes wide and ears open.
Lovely. Let's just play some "Back Door Santa" for the kid and reinforce the picture of Saint Nick as embodying all the things parents have told their children to be wary of all these years.
Yeah, there are times when your typical five-year-old (in ten words or fewer) pays little attention to these things. But that brain belonging to the little guy has just duly noted that information, especially since it came from Daddy.
God help us, every one!
7 comments:
Santa isn't nearly as frightening as clowns. Get him a John Wayne Gacy original to put under the Hanukkah bush, and watch the fireworks.
BTW, my annoying aunt didn't call my wife Hana because since it didn't have that redneck twang in it. She didn't even try to americanize it by changing it to "Hannah". She called her, yep, you guessed it, Hanukkah. Oy vey.
One year, my dad dressed up as Santa for a holiday party at work. I was a young 'un at the time and had no clue, as I went into his office after school, that he was waiting behind the door to surprise me with all his Claus gear on. I screamed bloody murder, and it took some time for me to calm down. It didn't help that my dad was laughing at my reaction at the same time I was yelling at him for scaring me dressed as a Christmas bogeyman.
funny story - hey Mrs. Leigh can you please enlighten this non-New Yorker exactly what is a "bronx cheer"?
A "Bronx cheer" is known to the rest of the world as a "raspberry". It's a sound we make to our young 'uns to amuse them, and then...come to think of it...it gets turned on its head and kids are told it's a rude thing to do.
Also, come to think of it, my Queens-born, Long Island-raised dad taught his grandson how to do it...
Leigh,
I was watching Blazing Saddles the other night. It's like the Marx Bros. movies, the more you listen the more lines you pick up. Madeline Kahn spurted out Verblunbet to Harvey Korman. I hadn't heard that word in 30 years.
ahhhh, thanky ma'am - I've spent some time at an aunts on Long Island, but have never heard of the bronx cheer - truly fitting to most situations, like when one thinks that "you're in good hands" hehehe
Marco, I've found that going back to the Mel Brooks movies now, after having encountered them in my early teens, reveals sooo much that went over my head back then. It was the same way with "History Of The World". Even the rest of the synagogue members who were there were chatting a little about all the stuff they were seeing that was making the viewing doubly funny for them.
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