I just can't decide.

Normally, my tribe is not overly ostentatious when it comes to holiday decorations. One look around most neighborhoods that are ushering in the night when Christ was born, however, and it makes me wonder if I ought to be keeping up in my own way.

Finding some stunning examples of the latest trends in inflatable lawn ornaments has only made my decision tougher:

Okay, so one of them is no longer available. Big whoop (though I did appreciate the full-on immense cheesiness of the whole thing).

Whaddya think - normal, basic electric menorah in the window this year, along with lighting our own candles daily for eight nights...or massive, eight-foot tall inflatable menorah on our front porch for all to see, something that says, "We might be a shonda fur di goyim, but we don't care!!!!!!"

I suggested this to my parents, who now live in a land where people will hire a service to put up their holiday lights, and they told me that 1) they are still too new in their neighborhood and 2) being back in the Bible Belt might well mean inviting something else on their lawn if they laid out a menorah in lights in the grass. I kinda scoffed - my parents aren't exactly Leo Frank.

Then again, I checked the hospital not far from their home. Seems the large cross atop the tallest building is a permanent fixture:

Across the street from the Oklahoma City National Memorial is a pretty large statue of Jesus weeping that is apparently a popular attraction:


And, while we were in O.C. for Thanksgiving, my parents were constantly waiting for the second coming of Jesus....their gardener. That last one kind of blows my mind. My dad, the uber-gardener, and my mom the mowing machine getting the services of a gardener. There was no sign of the riding lawn mower that my dad had managed to flip over onto himself once before (I can't disclose any other details about the mishap, since my dad's parents still know nothing about it, but suffice it to say that this wasn't exactly unexpected...), and I even had a time finding some rakes to get the leaves in the backyard into a pile for the little guy to jump into. At least they aren't hiring the holiday lighting installers like most of their neighbors are.

Bottom line is...the bottom line. I'm still not willing to shell out over $100 for something that will simply suck more electricity from my home and give more money to Entergy. 'Tis that frickin' season, too, people. I'd rather shell out some dough towards cheesy tchotchkes for family and friends this time of year. So be it.

Happy hollerdays, no matter who or what you are, or what your tastes are.