Saturday, April 12, 2008

What Is Ashley Morris?

(the following is straight from Ray, who read this at Ashley's funeral yesterday. Short synopsis from Dangerblond can be found here, as well as something from Michael Homan. Pictures, you ask? Of course there are pictures! What are we, a buncha Luddites?)

(My most heartfelt apologies to Kermit Ruffins for what I’m about to do here.)

What is Ashley Morris?

What IS Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is a fiery spirit who inspires and energizes anyone whose life he touches.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is a poet, a patriot, a teacher, scientist, comedian, cook, gadfly, bulldog and warrior.

What is Ashley Morris?

What IS Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is theology and geometry, never lacking in taste and decency even while strapped to Fortuna’s wheel, scribbling on the modern Big Chief pad he called his blog.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is the bass drum. Ashley Morris is the snare drum. Ashley Morris is the high hat. Ashley Morris is the tri-tom. And Ashley Morris never claps on 1 and 3 and hates anybody who does.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is smoked duck poor-boys from Crabby Jacks, shrimp poor-boys from Domilise’s, roast beef poor-boys with extra gravy from the Calhoun Superette, and any kinda poor-boy you wanna get on a lazy Sunday on a barstool with the afternoon sun shining in the window at the Parkway Bakery, y’all. What is Ashley Morris?

What IS Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is Krewe du Vieux. Ashley Morris is the Mystik Krewe of Pan. Ashley Morris is “Buy Us Back Chirac!” and “Bring Back Competent Corruption” and “The Cult of Lafcadio”.

Ashley Morris is at the top of Harry Shearer’s list of favorite mimes. (It’s a short list.)

What is Ashley Morris?

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is daddy to the beautiful Katerina, to the charming Annabel Lee, and to Big Rey d’Orleans Morris.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is the roller derby husband of the best blocker the game is likely to ever see, and woe be to the first jammer who thinks she’s gonna sneak by Soviet Block without a serious ass-whupping.


What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is an Abita ale, a wee dram of Jameson, a fine Cuban cigar, and an endless supply of stories and experiences both sacred and profane, enough to while away many a late night.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is the Saints 12th Man, the first to arrive and the last to leave in section 635, the Gentilly of ticket sections, reachable only by an arduous three-quarter mile journey by escalator, escorted by sherpas, where you WILL stand and you WILL cheer until the end of the fourth quarter regardless of whether Dem Boys are up by 6 or down by 17.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is he who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds New Orleans through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the saver of lost cities. And he will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy New Orleans. And you will know he is Ashley Morris when he lays his verbal vengeance upon thee. What is Ashley Morris?

What IS Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is Lenny Bruce and Bob Dylan and Bill Hicks. Ashley Morris is Che Guevara. Ashley Morris is Thomas Jefferson. Ashley Morris is Michael Collins. Ashley Morris is any separatist rebel patriot anywhere who ever said “Sinn Fein”, “Ourselves Alone”, or “Let ‘em freeze in the dark without any shrimp or coffee until we get some real levees up in here.” What is Ashley Morris?

What IS Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is the exposer of FMooks, and Ashley Morris is…(all together now) F Y Y F-ing F.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is a whole fried chicken from Dooky Chase’s with baked macaroni, collard greens, cornbread, and candied yams as sweet as bread pudding, eaten out of a box on the front steps of a condemned housing project on a cold drizzly January day saying, “This is the life. You know what they’re eating in Houston right now? Quiznos.”

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris is our voice. Ashley Morris is our rage. Ashley Morris is our laughter, our tears, our heart, our soul.

What is Ashley Morris?

Ashley Morris IS New Orleans.

And Ashley Morris is my friend. Ashley Morris will always be my friend.

And I will always miss him. Forever.

Please keep up your contributions to
http://rememberashleymorris.com

3 comments:

dillyberto said...

Bottling up what happened last Friday is necessary.

I want to remember it all.

Thanks for the post.

Anonymous said...

What a great post!!!

Leigh C. said...

Hey, folks, don't thank me, thank Ray in New Orleans! Seriously.