Tomorrow night, Dan and I will be attending this stellar event. Tell me, folks, what's an adequate tip to leave a celeb waiter? Do you leave the bare minimum tip, as a signal that they shouldn't quit their day job? Do you tip 'em right anyhow, because it's the right thing to do?
Oh, well, the questions are moot. It's just a fundraiser...
I'd much rather be giving some of these festival guests a tip, especially John Waters. My personal fave is Serial Mom, in which Kathleen Turner is Emily Post run psychotically amuck, killing people for things like failing to rewind rented videos and for wearing white shoes after Labor Day, despite the wearer's insistence that no one follows those rules anymore. And who's starring in a film remake of Hairspray? None other than John Travolta, in the Divine role as Edna Turnblad.
My husband is waaay more interested in the question of: can he, or can't he? Will he be able to enter our son in the Stanley and Stella shouting contest on April 1st? The kid watched one episode of "Elmo's World" on Sesame Street yesterday that left him yelling "STELLAAAAAA!" for a little bit before he headed for the bed, which gave Dan the idea to enter him in. We can't figure out if there is an age requirement or not...and I'm still struggling with the whole concept of entering him in, as I'm sure it will expose to the world that we are closet stage parents.
"Come on, honey, yell up to the nice lady on the balcony...no, it doesn't matter that you don't know her, just yell her name...Mommy, Daddy, and you will get a lot of goodies if you can yell it like you yell when we put the wrong DVD on for you...I know we keep telling you that that's rude, but right now, it's not rude, just yell up to the lady...Just...Just...scream it, kid...STEEEEEELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yecccch. Not for me. Dan can do that.
I'll be up on that balcony, having a mint julep or something stiff.
Oh, and check the sidebar, y'all. This fine blogger tipped me off to March 8th, and since I know that women and men might not be all that separate in many cases, they are still unequal in this world. Work for that change. Be the change.
Update: After services tonight, Dan and I surveyed the dining area, noticing the different cards on the tables posted with the celeb waiters' names.
"If I sit at (local fitness guru) Mackie Shilstone's table, I'm going to make sure to stuff everything I get into my mouth. I'll make it a point to eat as much as possible," he said, grinning.
I started laughing. "I can just picture that."
"And then, when he asks me why I'm stuffing my face, I can tell him that it's all right, I work in health management!" Dan said as I laughed harder.
God help the people who will be waiting on us...