Friday, March 02, 2007

Tomorrow night, Dan and I will be attending this stellar event. Tell me, folks, what's an adequate tip to leave a celeb waiter? Do you leave the bare minimum tip, as a signal that they shouldn't quit their day job? Do you tip 'em right anyhow, because it's the right thing to do?

Oh, well, the questions are moot. It's just a fundraiser...

I'd much rather be giving some of these festival guests a tip, especially John Waters. My personal fave is Serial Mom, in which Kathleen Turner is Emily Post run psychotically amuck, killing people for things like failing to rewind rented videos and for wearing white shoes after Labor Day, despite the wearer's insistence that no one follows those rules anymore. And who's starring in a film remake of Hairspray? None other than John Travolta, in the Divine role as Edna Turnblad.

My husband is waaay more interested in the question of: can he, or can't he? Will he be able to enter our son in the Stanley and Stella shouting contest on April 1st? The kid watched one episode of "Elmo's World" on Sesame Street yesterday that left him yelling "STELLAAAAAA!" for a little bit before he headed for the bed, which gave Dan the idea to enter him in. We can't figure out if there is an age requirement or not...and I'm still struggling with the whole concept of entering him in, as I'm sure it will expose to the world that we are closet stage parents.

"Come on, honey, yell up to the nice lady on the balcony...no, it doesn't matter that you don't know her, just yell her name...Mommy, Daddy, and you will get a lot of goodies if you can yell it like you yell when we put the wrong DVD on for you...I know we keep telling you that that's rude, but right now, it's not rude, just yell up to the lady...Just...Just...scream it, kid...STEEEEEELLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yecccch. Not for me. Dan can do that.

I'll be up on that balcony, having a mint julep or something stiff.

Oh, and check the sidebar, y'all. This fine blogger tipped me off to March 8th, and since I know that women and men might not be all that separate in many cases, they are still unequal in this world. Work for that change. Be the change.


Update: After services tonight, Dan and I surveyed the dining area, noticing the different cards on the tables posted with the celeb waiters' names.

"If I sit at (local fitness guru) Mackie Shilstone's table, I'm going to make sure to stuff everything I get into my mouth. I'll make it a point to eat as much as possible," he said, grinning.

I started laughing. "I can just picture that."

"And then, when he asks me why I'm stuffing my face, I can tell him that it's all right, I work in health management!" Dan said as I laughed harder.

God help the people who will be waiting on us...

9 comments:

saintseester said...

Can you stuff $20's in their waistbands? Especially the holy men. You can start a trend.

Leigh C. said...

Actually, I think your Uncle Joe deserves those 20's... 8-)

saintseester said...

I hope you had fun last night and raised beaucoup money.

Leigh C. said...

Hasn't happened yet! But it will tonight...

Funky-Rat (a/k/a Railyn) said...

Sounds like fun. We never do fun stuff like that at our church. Then again, this is hicksville USA, and there are really no celebrities here. And the synagogue building is beautiful. I love old architecture like that, when people put some thought in to making a lasting impression.

Also thanks for tipping me off to the Blog Against Sexism. You'd better believe I have a few things to say about that - and I will use that as an opportunity to do so. I encounter so much of it at my job - not with the company, but from some of our customers. While I'm not an ardent womens libber per se, a little common courtesty from some people in life would be nice.

Hope you guys behaved yourselves tonight.... ;)

Sophmom said...

I hope it was a blast and raised a ton of $$$$. They could have had celebrity blogger servers too (maybe next year?). I'm picturing Adrastos and Loki adding witty reparte to their service. G Bitch rules. :)

Leigh C. said...

Yes, it was indeed a blast. Especially when Father Maestri and John Autin did a great duet! It's too bad that Roop Raj couldn't get enough liquor in him to do his famed Bobby Jindal impersonation, however, but a mahvelous time was had by all...

Next year, I will suggest that Adrastos show in his cardinal getup.

adrastos said...

The costume is on loan from Dangerblond. You'll have to consult with her.

Btw, I'm disappointed not to get a blow by blow account of this shebang. Me, I'd want goofball and weather cutie Dawn Brown as my waitress.

Leigh C. said...

Actually, for $100 from his table, Father Maestri admitted that he had a crush on Dawn Brown...

And the antics were going so crazy and so fast that it was tough to get it all down. I can tell you that Angela Hill auctioned off a picture of Dennis Woltering in drag, Roop Raj did an impersonation of Bush the Elder, and Mackie Shilstone did some fingertip push-ups and a two-person handstand, daring all the other waiters to do the same. He was not our waiter, unfortunately...