Sunday, March 28, 2010

New York States of Mind:

On the plus side, I haven't heard a word of 1010 WINS since I've been here....

...BUT I've heard plenty else...

There's a scandal that involved my grandparents' shul in recent weeks. Some vindictive piece of crap circulated an email that started a food fight, and the caterer and kitchen of the shul are still reeling from its effects. The Orthodox Union had to head over and investigate the allegations that the caterer and the shul's kitchen were no longer serving kosher meat, and they found nothing but a couple of boxes outside of the building that were marked "nonkosher meat" (which is an idiotic marking) and a whole lot of kosher meat and only kosher meat inside the building. They concluded that the shul had been set up and kashered the kitchen again just to make sure, but all the orthodox shuls in the area had told their congregations not to hold their events at my grandparents' shul. The damage had been done, and the perpetrator has yet to be discovered.

My grandma on Jewish hypocrisy...

She speaks to an orthodox doctor of hers: So a Young Israel is being built across the corner from an orthodox shul that's already there. Why is that necessary? Aren't they both orthodox?

Doc: Well, I am one of the members of Y-I. It's a different thing from the services that are run at the shul that's there. It's Y-I.

Grandma: You know, Hitler never asked if anybody Jewish was Y-I. It was "Are you Jewish or not?" and if you were, goodbye.

Silence from the doc


Grandma on relationships in our time...

All these boys seeking girls...and girls seeking boys...and they can't see each other. *shakes head*


My mother on travel security...

Everyone needs to strip down to nothing and be supplied with Tasers. That way, if anything happens, you know you'll be shocked out of your mind. There could be entire planes full of people shocked with Tasers. At least we'd all know where we stand security-wise.

Welcome to my world up north, y'all.

1 comment:

chrissie said...

That last one just cracks me up. Do you read ShitMyDadSays?