Thursday, March 25, 2010

Yowza! 'Tis the season for the following, indeed....

A note of explanation first: On Passover, we sing a song of praise to God called Dayenu, or "enough" in Hebrew. It chronicles each event that paved the way out of Egypt for the Israelites, beginning with God sending Moses to ask Pharaoh to let them go, all the way up to the temple being established in Jerusalem, and says that if God had gone no further than each event named, it would have been enough for us.

Well, someone took that prayer and plugged the Saints' past season into it, and here are the results:


Here is a special prayer that will be read throughout Jewish homes in South Louisiana this Passover.

Had He receded the floodwater and not given us our team back
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us our team and not provided a Payton
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He provided a Payton and not signed a Breesus
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He signed a Breesus and not drafted a Bush
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He drafted a Bush and not found a Colston in the 7th round
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us


Had He found a Colston in the 7th round and not provided the 2006 season
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He provided the 2006 season and not a win on Monday night home opener
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He a win on Monday night home opener and not a NFC South title
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us a NFC South title and not a trip to Chicago
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us a trip to Chicago and not given us two seasons to remind us they are still the Saints
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us two seasons to remind us they are still the Saints and not given us 2009 season
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us the 2009 season and not provided 10 straight wins
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He provided 10 straight wins and not a win on Monday night against New England
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us a win on Monday night against New England and not a NFC South title
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us a NFC title and not home field in the playoffs
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us home field in the playoffs and not a NFC Championship
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us a NFC Championship and not a Super Bowl versus a Manning
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us a Super Bowl versus a Manning and not a Super Bowl Title
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

Had He given us a Super Bowl Title and not the world largest victory parade Mardi Gras!
Dayenu, It would have been enough for us

He has provided all of these things and for this we are grateful.

Chag sameach, everybody!

2 comments:

Editilla~New Orleans Ladder said...

That was just about the sweetest post prayer I've ever seen.
Passover my ass. Lucky us, eh?
I agree with Abby Hoffman, Jews invented stand up comedy.

But did you hear what is on the Internets?
Former Hindu, Exorcist, and now child-governor of Louisiana Bobby "Brady" Jindal was found this morning, crouched in his bath tub in his Gub'na Suit, with his hands clasped tightly around the tiny helpless neck of a King Cake Baby, muttering drool:
"Die, Whore Child of Bourbon." Quietly, almost subliminally PBJ mewled his frustration beneath a louder drone mantra: "It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion."
But King Cake Baby Won't Die! It, Louisiana, just stares back at His'Boner with those cute purple and gold plastic eyes, singing to itself, "These poor goddamn fools never learn. Who'dat?"

It's true! It's on the Internets!
Well it's hanging on the Ladder anywayz...
Thanks youz.

chrissie said...

I love this.