See, you can't just give a gift anymore...you have to think about context, pop culture, and semantics atop the individual giftees likes and dislikes. AUGGGH!!! Pardon me while I grab me some motherf&%!ing candy.
So my parents send my son a marble run maze that takes a PhD to put together (You think I'm pulling your leg - it's a seventy-page instruction book.) I feel a major sugar high coming on.
So this week fittingly ends with a biblical downpour that cancels one Hannukah party for my son, keeps me at home from another Hannukah party, ensures that only five kids come to whack a rocket pinata at my son's birthday party, and just generally freaks out my dog. It was dump the candy from the bucket and fill it with alcoholic beverages time.
Yeah, I'm recovering. Barely. Pray for me.