The downside to raising children? Try our PC-ized society on for size:

For Demarcus Blackwell, having the "sex talk" with his 15-year-old son was "kind of embarrassing." But that was nothing compared with the idea of explaining sexual harassment to his preschooler. "He doesn't have the slightest clue about sex anything," says Blackwell, of Waco, Texas, whose 4-year-old son Christopher was suspended last year for sexual harassment when a female school aide reported that the child buried his face in her chest when she hugged him. "How do you explain what's a better kind of hug?"

God, my head is spinning and my heart hurts.

The other day, the little guy was at our neighbor's house, and I was in the process of shuttling him out the door so's the family could eat dinner and make their bedtime preparations in peace. The two little girls in the family were definitely doing the overtired dance. The father of the clan told the little guy that it would soon be time for the girls to take their baths.

"Can I help?" my son asked.

He was being generous and trying to be a good guy. We couldn't help but giggle, because of what was on our minds when he made that comment. "Uhh, try that one again when you're seventeen or eighteen," the girls' father joked. I hate to think that if my son had said that around the sexual harassment Gestapo, he'd be penalized for it. Ugh.

Thank goodness for some of the upsides of raising children. I spent some time in my parents' backyard raking together a massive pile of leaves for the little guy to jump into. We spent a couple of hours at the local playground schmoozing with another little guy just his age and trying to keep my son from seriously hurting himself on his newfound friend's Razor scooter (I see a holiday gift in my son's future...).

Oh, and raising children gives all us parental units the perfect excuse to be watching stuff like this. Ah, to be able to assault all those who cast us aside with flapjacks and other assorted breakfast foods.

Maybe we should simply unleash the haunted coffee table on those who decided New Orleans wasn't sufficiently prepared to host a presidential candidates' debate. (Episode spoiler coming!) We do have all the power tools at hand to help with a coffee table-style revenge. (Sorry...) I say we flood the offices of those responsible for the decision with copies of Mr Clio's letter. Feel free to insert some egg for their faces.