Tuesday, May 22, 2007

A recent conversation with a dog parker:

- Y'know, they say that a barrel of crude oil is now $80.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, and I filled up my truck the other day, and it cost me eighty bucks...
- Lordy, so you could get a 55-gallon drum for the same price...
- ...And I'll just refine it myself. Except I think the neighborhood association would have a problem with me setting up a mini refinery on my property.
- Oh, hell, you could just disguise it all as a cistern and make it a historically relevant structure, right?
- Yeah, that'll work!
(mutual laughter)


Recently overheard at the playground from probably the only nanny I will ever hire, if ever I need one:

(to small child, about the little guy's age)"C'mon, you can just crack that confetti egg I gave you alllll over my head. This is a prime opportunity to do it, and you're missing out. You won't get a chance like this every day. Your life will be thoroughly diminished and you will forever feel as though something is missing unless you crack that egg over my head. Plus, I will be forever living in fear of your little hand crushing eggshell all over me when I least expect it unless you just go ahead and get it over with. Kill my fear and enrich your life...crack that confetti egg!!!!"

Or something like that.

I just love life sometimes.

7 comments:

jeffrey said...

Home refining. The next big thing... once the banana wine thing gets played out.

Leigh C. said...

Dan is currently looking into the viability of a cacao tree in the backyard.

And the banana wine is turning into very potent banana hooch. I don't think it's gonna be fully played out for quite some time...

Maitri said...

a barrel of oil is now $80 a gallon

Jeezus Christ, where is he shopping?

:-)

Crude's down to $65 a barrel now.

Leigh C. said...

Oops! Went and changed it. Thanks!

Hell, you know what I meant....

Maitri said...

Thanks for reminding me to remind my husband to get ON the home brew this summer.

saintseester said...

Thanks for a story that really made me smile! I love that. Crack the egg. Having fun with the kids.

Missy said...

Love both of these snippets.

Made my day.