Thursday, May 03, 2007

Hey, all you stay-at-home parents.

When can we get politically organized and get our $138,000+ a year?

At the very least, we can establish ourselves as a political entity to be reckoned with. As an organized bloc, we can demand that our illustrious oaf of a president call back our sons and daughters from the Middle East sandbox - because that ain't the right way to play.

"Excuse me," we can tell the lil' oaf. "You cannot play soldiers yet, George Walker. You forgot to clean up the mess you made right here at home."

"Awwwww, Moms! Awwwww, Dads!" he might say (because kids will do that). "You never let me have any fuuuuuun!"

"It's called being responsible," we'll say, leading him off by the ear. "Now get your big machines outta the sand. You're going to need those for when you put things to rights back at home."

"Really????", he might say, with that mischievous gleam in his eye. What he's thinking is something along the lines of this kid's attitude towards his toys. "What can I knock down, huh? Can I shoot things up? Can I? Can I? Pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeeee?????"

"We are putting your machines up and away, young man," we will say, watching his face fall. "They will watch you as your bare hands do the cleaning here, George Walker. And you will be apologizing personally to every one of the people whose lives you harmed."

Yes, he's gonna do his best to twist the knife into us psychologically. Dubya was somebody's child once, too, and old habits die especially hard. "You're gonna be sorry someday," he might say. "Sorry you made me do this!! What did I do to deserve such awful parents????!!!???"

We gotta be strong, though, because, though parenting is an organic skill that takes a lifelong amount of patience and time to master (and is in many ways highly underestimated and devalued as a result), we are human, after all. Plus, if he really gets obstinate, we can always give lil' Dubya the ultimate time out - impeachment and removal from office.

After all, all children will act up and throw tantrums at any time, any place, in front of loads of people, because embarrassing the heck out of one's parents is just another tool in a psychological arsenal. Anybody who objects to impeachment needs to know that there is never a convenient time for such actions. That's just life.

Good parents have been making the tough calls since time immemorial.

So, no more guilt trips, please. No more junk about how we are doing the kind of work that is priceless and cannot be cheapened by a dollar amount. Don't give me that crap about how glorious the second oldest profession is and how no one else is making these claims.

Show me the money instead.

And don't be surprised when I take it, hire a caretaker for a couple of weeks, and head off to a nice beach in the Pacific, preferably Hawaii. Because it's been four-plus years in the works, y'all, and I need a break.

Update, 9:41 A.M.: Before I would head off to the beach, I'd make the proper arrangements for this bright girl's future in school, since the charter schools in this neck of the woods seem to want to shirk that responsibility. No Child Left Behind, my ass.

Oh, and I'd support these folks, too.


saintseester said...


Well. Those people obviously have not seen the kind of work I did/do around here when I was/am at home. Probably worth more like $138.00

Cousin Pat from Georgia said...

"Show me the money." LOL.

What this study also tells us, in a darker way, is how much it actually costs to have a family in this country. If stay at home parents are doing $138K of work pro-bono, and the average middle class family remains in an average of $17K debt per annuum, that's a real 'yikes' figure.