tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19896356.post6868099484495030757..comments2023-06-30T03:19:06.979-05:00Comments on Liprap's Lament - The Line: Leigh C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/13654596932726420097noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19896356.post-87838318094189396582008-11-22T17:46:00.000-06:002008-11-22T17:46:00.000-06:00"no matter how many times my son's teacher says ha..."no matter how many times my son's teacher says having another child might help put the one I have now in his 'place' somehow"<BR/><BR/>Damn. The idea that a child needs to be "put in his place" is alarming coming from a teacher. What kind of view of children and childhood informs that kind of <I>dreck</I>? Ew. <BR/><BR/>As the mother on a singleton, I have heard my share of a-sibling-will-be-good-for-her/teach-her-to-share/prevent-spoilage. Fuck that shit. Of all the reasons to have another child, to keep the first in line and/or provide a playmate have to be in the category of The Worst EVER.<BR/><BR/>We can't stop others from devaluing us as mothers/teachers but we can stop devaluing ourselves. And each other. Competition can be fatal when what you really need is cooperation and community.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19896356.post-73223712015284580912008-11-20T15:27:00.000-06:002008-11-20T15:27:00.000-06:00I think we are on some sort of soapbox every day, ...I think we are on some sort of soapbox every day, myself... <BR/><BR/>;-)Leigh C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13654596932726420097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19896356.post-38577463121164652402008-11-20T10:16:00.000-06:002008-11-20T10:16:00.000-06:00I'm with you on not being immune. But it's taken ...I'm with you on not being immune. But it's taken me years to recognize how destructive and anti-woman those feelings were... I think part of equality is recognizing the inherent differences in women and structuring our workplaces and home lives in ways that accommodate families, not just single individuals. Equality is not "acting like a man" -- it is accepting what makes us difference and creating a world that embraces those differences. <BR/><BR/>Are we on a soapbox yet? :-)Cold Spaghettihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12669806898733425815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19896356.post-6685150240142693372008-11-20T06:24:00.000-06:002008-11-20T06:24:00.000-06:00I can't say that I'm immune to the attitudes that ...I can't say that I'm immune to the attitudes that have devalued basic day-to-day caregiving for others. Something in American culture has changed the way we look at extended families - perhaps the primacy of individual gain above all else. And this woman's complaints - and the commenters' kvetches as well - have those changes written all over them.<BR/><BR/>This generation of women we are a part of was raised to have these individual aspirations, that we could have it all without too much of that responsibility, that, somehow, if the care of others such as children and parents, entered the picture, we could manage it without too much strain, because we could take it, by God! Plus, wasn't all of this supposed to be equally shared by family members of both genders? (yeah, riiiight)<BR/><BR/>Well, it's tough, tougher than we thought. And we STILL can't complain about it because the responsibility thing is perceived as a "choice" rather than a necessity. You are correct there, Holly.<BR/><BR/>Ugh.Leigh C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13654596932726420097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19896356.post-24420813975078567512008-11-19T23:08:00.000-06:002008-11-19T23:08:00.000-06:00At what point did caring for others, particularly ...At what point did caring for others, particularly those in our families, become so completely devalued? As if raising a child or caring for an adult is a task beneath them, one that only a lesser skilled, lesser educated, person undertakes. And let's not forget that women CHOOSE these roles, oh yes, nothing about caring for others is assumed in a woman's life.<BR/><BR/>(Take, for example, the holier-than-thou insults to so-called 'Mommy-bloggers,' a term which means, you chose to be a Mom, so shut up, get in the kitchen, and live with it -- most certainly don't write about it, or anything else for that matter.)<BR/><BR/>Which is, of course, what the insults to this woman were about.Cold Spaghettihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12669806898733425815noreply@blogger.com